Yeah, I know. That’s one overly sensational title. But tell me it doesn’t have this cool geek-girl cadence to it?
My habit of meeting people online has come to a new fork in the road, and I’m finding myself torn between two paths (no Frost jokes I beg of you). In the grand scheme of things, it’s might seem a silly thing to concern myself with. But then again, it could have a lasting impact.
So here’s the interesting pickle I’ve found myself in. I really like to think that anyone I’m somewhat connected with has read my blog, and might even continue to read it. I would read the blog of someone I was interested in getting to know better. In fact, I can’t imagine not Googling a potential new friend at some point. If they have a username that’s not overly common, you can get a lot of insight into another human being. But then the issue becomes… do I still talk about what’s happening in my life, in my blog? Do I talk about how I’m feeling about each relationship I have, and discuss my pros and cons list, where I’m almost hoping they’ll eventually read it?
On the surface, the answer would seem clear; of course not you idiot!
But it takes more thought than that. I was reading an article today, about successful blogging. It made some great points, but as I read, I realized; it’s not what this place is about.
Now this blog is actually an amalgam of several blogs over the years (ok there are still some posts I haven’t moved, I’ll get to it!). But there’s a reason I did that. It’s become about the journey I’ve been on for close to 10 years, and the journey’s I hope are ahead. I never cared about this becoming a successful blog. I never yearned for ridiculous numbers of readers. I just wanted to have a place to talk about the things that matter to me, and about the ways in which I see the world, and hopefully make a few people think and laugh a bit. I don’t really talk about the sites stats often, but in all honesty, it gets more traffic than I ever anticipated it would. That’s a pleasant reality, but nothing that makes me ambitious for world wide web domination.
At its core, this blog was always intended to be about me. While I go off on a lot of tangents, you’ll notice I’m usually in there somewhere. It’s not a narcissism issue, I assure you (and anyone who knows me will nod along emphatically and whisper “insecure nutjob” when I look away). It’s because this is my home. CleverTitania.com, and by extension the Rants and Ramblings blog, is my place. It’s where I come to muse, to share, to express, and to release the parts of me that are silenced too often. Or perhaps I should say, the parts of me that have no one to talk to in the real world.
Which brings me back around to the topic at hand. Because, while I have no reason to think that a relationship with someone I can relate to fully would end the need for this outlet, frankly if I had to choose between finding that individual and this blog… well, maybe I’d stop in from time to time for a bit of a chat. 
But I do want to find someone who inspires and infuriates me into having even more to say. I want to find someone I can really talk to and about. I want to write about a whole new side to life, from a fresh and renewed perspective (that being the opposite of being single).
So I have to decide. Do I talk about all the things that matter to me, including any potential relationships? Or do I keep mum, and not risk scaring or spanking them off?
Ok, yeah, that sounded kinda dirty. But the question remains, and frankly, I’d love to hear some opinions. Constructive ones only please.
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