(originallly posted on my AFF blog)
I’ve been over at my sister’s house a ton lately. We’re having great little mini-parties. We’ll sit around, her FWB drinking a few beers, and the girls enjoying other means of inebriation. Ever notice what other plant hops look like? 
So, I found out something interesting the other night. My sister’s FWB and I are very into the Meyers-Briggs personality profiles. They’re fairly fascinating. We found this terrific site (typelogic.com) with very thorough profiles and they are eerily accurate. And thanks to that assessment, I have completely figured out why I hate going to work so much. Here’s one thing it had to say about my type, INFP.
“INFPs can even masquerade in their ESTJ business suit, but not without expending considerable energy.”
This is the best short depiction of an ESTJ, for reference.
“ESTJs thrive on order and continuity. Being extraverted, their focus involves organization of people, which translates into supervision. While ENTJs enjoy organizing and mobilizing people according to their own theories and tactically based agendas, ESTJs are content to enforce “the rules,” often dictated by tradition or handed down from a higher authority.”
This is what’s wrong with me, and it’s spot on. Plus, it says so much when I think of all the conversations I’ve had with people about how finding out my management skills are so good is bugging me. I’ve been fairly freaked out with how easily I adapted to being in charge of things.
It’s like I’m expending all this energy to be someone that’s not really me. It’s like being a terrific basketball player, and excelling at the sport. But underneath it all, it’s not really what you want to be doing. But since it’s something coveted, and you’re particularly skilled, you ignore what you really want. I need to find another environment. I could be doing the job I am now, with a company that really cared a fig for what their employees need or letting them be themselves, and I wouldn’t be so frustrated and exhausted every day.
This leads me to another topic. Who we are underneath it all. How many of us never appear to be our true selves, on the surface? Or, on another token, how many of us just assume so much about a person, based simply on their surface, and miss out on the reality of who they are? I’ve always believed I look deeper, but I’ve recently learned that I am as prone to assumptions as anyone else.
I recently had an experience, which led to this self exploration. I was very pleasantly surprised to learn the true nature of the particular focus of my attention. It surprised me, definitely unbalanced me a little, but it was still such a wonderful surprise. It’s really made me look at how I look at people, and it’s time for some re-evaluation of myself.
Ok, this will continue another time. I assure you. 
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