It’s true; I’m kind of an odd duck. If you read this blog, or follow me on Twitter, or read anything on my site… yeah my oddness is on display for the entire world to see. But, despite this, I think I’m fairly versed on what women want in general. And I don’t think I stray that far from the norm. When I was younger, I wanted someone to have fun with and maybe fall in love some day. I’m not that young anymore, and my desires have changed. I want to find someone that is fun, who makes me want to rethink my future based on his inclusion.
I’ve talked a little about my online dating exploits, but I was inspired by the blog of another online scout, and purveyor of Twitter (http://missmelisamae.blogspot.com), to say a little about communication. Below are a series of emails I’ve sent, and some of the responses from the individuals I sent them too. I haven’t included anyone’s information. I’m not trying to rag on these guys. There might be women who find their form of communication perfectly fine. But any man who’s looking to make a quality first introduction, to a woman with any significant brains, should consider these tips for making first contact.
I’ll volunteer, some of these emails were sent after a certain amount of frustration, based on the other person ignoring my profile entirely, and ignoring any questions or points I addressed in my emails. In fact, you might think I’ve even given a few of these guys a hard time. But I like to think that I could’ve been a hell of a lot ruder and cruder, especially since I have a tongue that instinctively likes to slice. So at least I made an effort to be civil and honest with them. 
Comments by the gentlemen are in italics. And these are not edited for spelling, punctuation or content. These are exactly as sent/received.
Subject: Hello Beautiful
Hello beautiful,I would love to get to know you better.Maybe we can be friends first and see where it goes.I look forward in talking to you soon.I have to say, men who start off with words like beautiful automatically make me skeptical. Tack on enough Didn’t Says onto their profile, I get damn near suspicious.
No offense. I’m sure you’re a perfectly nice guy, who’s offended at being suspected of excessive attempts to charm, but…
Don’t you think that over-flattery paints you as being disingenuous?
Hello thanks for respondind to my message,1st of all I did not overflatter you,2nd all i said was hello beautiful. and 3rd if you cant appreciate some1 saying kind things to you,then that makes me wonder about what type of person you are.Saying a kind word or 2 to some1 is not overflattery.You should appreciate some1 being kind to you other than some1 being rude and mean to you,dont you think?
If you refer to what you said as ‘being nice’ then it means you don’t actually believe me to be beautiful. Which makes sense, since I’m not. I’m very comfortable with what I am; which is pretty, possibly cute or charming to the right eyes. Distinctive I would also buy. But I know I’m not beautiful, by standard definitions of the word. Clearly, you do too.
Which means you may have considered what you said ‘nice’, but you were also being dishonest. What I’m looking for is honesty. Not someone using generic compliments that don’t even fit me, simply to ingratiate themselves. Even friendships, based on false flattery, are doomed to failure.
The only person I might over flatter occasionally is my son, and that’s because he’s a child. To him, bigger is better. But if someone gives me a compliment that clearly doesn’t apply to me, it makes me feel that the person is treating me like a child. And given that I haven’t thought like a child since I was about 10, and got smarter than half my teachers and adult members of my family, I don’t take well to being patronized.
What type of person I am is someone who appreciates an honest man being up front with who he is, what he’s about, and what interest he has in me.
Subject; YOU STUPID WENCH
:devil: hold up wait a minute you are giving me all this shit because i called you beautifu,are you kidding me?l man you are really a mean hateful unappreciative woman.Just imagined what you would say if i called you a fat ugly hoe, I bet you would like that huh? where here goes; YOU FAT UGLY HOE HAHAHAHAHA :machinegun:As I suspected based on your email and profile. You are a moron who doesn’t understand the concept of being honest instead of saying whatever he thinks will get him a date, regardless if he means a word of it. I’m afraid that any such idiot would be incapable of insulting me with any degree of competency. Once again, demonstrated below. You can’t even come up with a clever enough insult.
I suggest, in the future, you stick to women who are mentally deficient. A smart women won’t fall for your schtick.
Oh, and it should go without saying but… you’re blocked.
(I’m currently talking to this guy, and so far it’s promising, but I felt like including this one to further illustrate my point)
Wow, that was a long informative way to not really answer the question.
What I’m looking for in a man is someone who knows what he wants, and isn’t afraid to be completely candid about it, even if it means he might not get it. I’m looking for someone who’s decided that they are at a point in their life, where they want to make a few plans, and have someone by their side to help see them through.
Because that’s pretty much where I am.
(This gentleman’s introduction basically just said I was a cool chick he’d like to talk to)
I’d like to think I’m a cool chick, though that’s always up for interpretation.
I have to say, reading a few of your forum posts I have to wonder if I’m a bit tame for you. For one thing, if you came at me with wax and a razor I’d probably kick you in the nards.
I’m geeky in more of a movie way than the traditional way. I’ve never read Asimov or Wells, though I studied Orson’s movies in college. And of course, I know Asimov’s work well, even if I haven’t read any of it. I also never really got into Star Wars. I haven’t even seen the 6th movie (Episode 3). Now Stargate I know backwards and forwards. Oddly though, I much preferred Atlantis, while my sister was an SG-1 nut. I’m digging on Universe so far, but it’s still growing on me. I don’t like they way they’ve tried to emulate Battlestar.
I don’t do needles unless medically necessary, so no tats for me. But they can be really cool, when people get them to actually reflect their personality and not just to have them.
Camaro’s are very nice. I’m particularly fond of the 70s models, when DeLorean first designed them. But then again, I’m also a sucker for the classic Mustangs, especially the late 60s models.
I also write/talk a lot, in case you hadn’t noticed.
hi there
hi back
would u care if i had a small weiner
What I care about is that you’d actually start a conversation with a question like that. Dude, seriously? Have you ever heard the online dating rule about not starting off with any lines that would get a drink thrown in your face at a bar?
Is Titania youre first name? You have a very interesting profile?
Titania is a mythical fairy queen featured in, among other things, Shakespeare’s Midsummer Nights Dream. CleverTitania is my online persona (I am a writer with a small following).
Interesting is a good word. My favorite general comment so far is slightly schizophrenic.
Two different indivduals?
How so?
TimYou “travel, enjoys fitness, make money and keeping up with sports.” I’m a home body computer geek, who could care less about money, only runs when chased, and really isn’t into in any sports. We don’t seem to have a single common interest. You’re a goals and actions person, I’m an introspection and long hypothetical conversations person.
In fact, with the lack of commonalities between us, not clear on why you winked in the first place.
Ok, this is going to sound really mean, or like I’m trying to rip off the bar scene in Love Potion No. 9, but I’m honestly just not sure how else to phrase this.
If you read your profile, and read my profile, why would you think we had anything in common? I am a woman of too many words, and you’re a man of too few. I would think this understood based on my interests, but I don’t like NASCAR, or any other kind of racing. I don’t hate it or anything, I just don’t really appreciate it. And my profile makes it clear I’m looking for a possible LTR, and your profile mentions eating pussy.
I really guess I just want to understand; what prompted you to send me a friend request?
(When this guy said he wanted to get to know me, I suggested asking a question or starting a conversation. I got his A/S/L and status)
Not to be obnoxious (sometimes it’s hard to say certain things in print), but this email didn’t really do either of the things I suggested. I’m not looking for a mini (or in your case expanded) version of your profile here. I’m not on a panel of judges for a reality TV show. You’re not auditioning for a spot.
If you want to get to know me, it works the same way it would in the real world. Strike up a conversation that
you think might be of mutual interest.
Oh my god, it would be so fun to be have my pants pulled down then be pulled over your lap and be spanked by a lady as pretty as you … spanked till my cute little white butt was bright Red Red and the tears are flowing …. a wonderful butt blistering time Mmmm Oh Yeah and I love to give playfull spankings too *wink*
Dude, seriously? My profile specifically makes clear I’m 100% more interested in making an intellectual
connection over a physical one, and you start off with a request for a spanking? Would you do that in a bar?BTW if that sounds pissy, imagine I’m shaking my head in amusement when I say it. My point being, even if you do have a spanking fetish that’s quite important to you (I don’t share it but I also don’t judge), it’s probably still not a good idea to lead off with that.
Just an FYI.K
Saw your friend request. I’m assuming that you are, for site access reasons, unable to read my profile in its entirety. I’ll give you the condensed version; only interested in a man who wants to find a woman to wake up with more than one he wants to sleep with.
BOL,
K
I got your friend request. I’ll be very up front with you. I am not your type.
Have a nice afternoon.
whats my type
A woman who’s into ‘god’ and has no issues being referred to by the size of her ‘titties’.
2 each its own
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