(originallly posted on my AFF SexyAds blogs)
So here it is folks. The blog that had to start in my notebook. This is the culmination of why I’ve been away so long. Busy, busy bee, planning the move that is explained below. But alas I am back, and prepared to share the joy and pain.
Hello my lovelies. I’m writing this, to keep myself occupied, on the first flight I’ve taken in more than 15 years. Only a little jittery at take off. At this point, I’m more concerned with claustrophobia, than the concept than my slight uneasiness at the concept of being inside a giant flying tylenol. Man, but 717’s are small. And here’s the worst part (other than the cabin pressure dicking with my fountain pen). The last thing I need right now is more to agitate me.
So, for those just joining us, here’s where we last saw Titania.
On Saturday afternoon, we began the long drive to Williamsport, PA. Stephanie (sis’ roommate) took the first shift of driving the 25′ moving truck, towing her Scion. She, Ted (her friend from her old theater that she’s taking with to be her assistant manager) and I were fairly quiet to start. They were recovering from the tears and goodbyes that we left behind. As we neared the eastern half of IL, the three of us had the Rent soundtrack cranked and were singing our asses off (yes Ted is gay).
We cheered and clapped as we waved goodbye to IL and entered Indiana. A quick bite, and stop by a small town Wal-Mart (needed MP3 player batteries and cup holders for the truck) were the only non-gas stops. Yes, my friends, 16 hours in a truck cab with minimal stops. Fan-fucking-tastic! Steph drove all the way through IL, IN and part of Ohio. Then I took over. As Ted is only 20, he wasn’t allowed to drive the big ass rental. Lucky boy.
For those who don’t know, I’m on the short side, and I also have fairly short legs (which everyone should know from the gallery). Driving a big diesel truck, with a barely adjustable bench seat, yeah that was fun!
When we got into Pennsylvania, we saw enough deer bodies littered about to make us nervous about continuing to drive into the mountains in the dark. By the 4th random, incredibly thick, fog patch, we all decided that it was time to pull off. So, at 4:30 in the AM, we parked in a truck stop (after refilling the tank) and slept til dawn. Well, Steph and I slept. Poor Ted couldn’t manage it, and ended up watching Southpark on Steph’s iPod, while furtively watching the horizon for a glimpse of light. That’s my version of his story by the way. His version is, “I just kept looking up going, where is the fucking sun?!”
A couple hours later, I drove in to Williamsport. Wow, I haven’t seen mountains since I was about 20. Steph and Ted were in awe of the fact they were going to get to live in these little mountain cities. And the lack of corn fields was a nice change of view. In fact, when we would see the occasional corn field, we eventually took to flipping it off, like someone superstitious holding their breath, as they drive by a cemetery, to ward off the deadiness.
I enjoyed some scenery on the way, but carefully avoided looking when we drove across bridges that spanned huge valleys, which were scary as shit! I did look once, so not just my imagination. When we arrived in Williamsport, the real adventure began. I won’t bore you with all the details, but suffice it to say, there was no place to unload the truck. We checked into a motel that cost way too much money for no Wifi, no pool, and a bathroom that hadn’t been remodeled since the late 70s, during that period when the 50s decor came back in style. And then we began looking for an apartment.
Here, in the Quad Cities, you can’t drive 2 blocks without seeing a For Rent sign. Apparently this is not the case everywhere. The first night, after a day with no luck, ended with a mini-party in our crappy motel, to blow off steam. We bought some DVD’s at Target (after taking the car off the dolly and filling the truck cab with all the shit that was packed in the car), and took Ted’s DVD player off of the truck. Then I discovered hotels are now putting sleeves on the coax cables of the TVs (the bastards), so we also brought in Ted’s TV.
Ted and Steph had some beers, and I had a B&J Strawberry Daiquiri, we lit a bowl and watched Gramma’s Boy. We relaxed, after I moved my flight to Tuesday, and decided we’d have better luck on Monday. So naive. Hmm… landing in Atlanta shortly. Pause to change planes sweeties.
[Intermission]
Ok, so I’m on my next plane, Atlanta to Home swee… well you get the idea. At least it’s not supposed to be freezing when I get in. Now, where was I? Oh yes, Monday. By the end of Monday, well at least we had moved to a better hotel, with wifi and everything. We were supposed to hear back on an apartment Monday night, as soon as the maintenance people were done cleaning it. We chilled again, thinking we were all set. Steph and Ted went for a swim and I tried to do some emailing. I forgot my external keyboard. And why would I need that? Well, my last laptop died, and I’m currently using sis’ old one. This laptop is missing the 5 key, has intermittent space bar issues, and the function key is stuck on. I have to hold it down to not use the ten-key pad in the middle of the keyboard (for those with laptops who’ve never noticed them, hold down the fn key and click on something with a blue number/symbol above it). While typing was a supreme pain in the ass, it was good just to get online. I felt awfully disconnected for a couple of days, and needed something familiar.
Monday afternoon, we went to the mall for lunch, waiting for one call back on an apartment that sounded like a fairly sure thing. Because I’m with 20 somethings, one of whom is a very talented artist/painter, and another who is reminiscent of Jack from Will & Grace, we went to Spencers, Claires and Hot Topik. The last place yielded one fun thing. Ted was flirting like mad with this cute guy who worked at Hot Topik. And when I say cute, think, I want to put him in my pocket, despite the pierced lip, cute. Perfect for Ted. When we ate lunch at McD’s a few stores down, Ted withstood much ribbing from Steph and I that he wouldn’t go get the guys number. Ted was definitely slightly smitten, but refused adamantly. So I went instead. His name is Dustin, and I did indeed get his number. They spent most of Tuesday texting, and Ted says he wants to make me his bridesmaid. 
Now, we arrive at Tuesday morning. It’s 8AM, and we never heard back from anyone last night. Steph called the realtor and we were told it wouldn’t be ready until the weekend. Shit! So, I made a command decision. Until that point, I had been standing back and letting Steph take the lead. She’s only 23, and this really is one of the first grown up things I think she’s done. I thought it would be good to not get in the way of that. But things were desperate, as we had to leave at 2PM to get me to the airport to fly home. That ended at 8AM that morning. I became the mom, I admit it, but I really think the two of them were relieved I did it. I’m fairly certain they were pretty panicked. And I was mortified of leaving them in a few hours, without having them in an apartment yet. It was bad enough I would never have time to help them unpack the truck.
I started calling every realty place in the phone book, and let me tell you, there weren’t that many. And just as Steph had encountered when she’d first been looking, they aren’t really prompt (or sometimes even courteous enough) when it comes to returning phone calls. And again, I’m used to one call yielding at least a few listings. Nope, the few who answered their phones or called back, had one if we were lucky. No one ever moves in this place! It took dozens of calls and some explanations of just what we meant by immediate occupancy. I finally got a few things lined up, about 9:30AM and jumped in the shower while they started packing up. I quickly got us out of there and we got with the first lady at 10:30. I’m so glad Steph bought a TomTom, though we call her JaneJane, because that’s the voice name for the british female, which we chose as the main voice. She’s terribly pompous and not always perfectly helpful, but we love telling her to shut the fuck up when she tells us to get on the highway for no good reason.
The first place was more than good enough, and we went ahead right away and I started thanking people but telling them we got something. By 2PM, we had a lease signed on a 3 bedroom side-by-side, with an attic, partly finished basement, front and back porches, a dining room and pretty big kitchen, for $650 a month. Did I mention rents are ludicrously cheap there?
Oh, sorry, I forgot what happened between finding the place and the lease being ready to sign. The moving truck was, unintentionally, parked in an office parking lot attached to the motel parking lot. And the employees of the office park had filled the lot. I really was sure I was clear, until I heard the crunch. All I’d done was bust a tail light, but if I hadn’t stopped when I did… and this is a demonstration of most of the people we met in town. I am, at this point, crying a little. After the past few days, and all the frustration we’d been through, plus sleeping in hotel beds, I just ran out of any optimism. And all these dumb bitches, leaving for their lunch breaks, were snarky asses as they passed the ‘accident’. I’ve been in parking lot fender benders in the QCA, and 5 people will stop to see if you’re ok. And if it’s a young woman, some old biddy is inevitably comforting the poor thing instantly. It’s like they troll around looking for young crying women to comfort, seriously. For once, I was glad I was going home. The building manager officiously got everyone who had a car in a tricky spot and made them move it, and got the owner of the car I hit, so we could exchange information. I was quick to apologize, and fortunately I wasn’t crying anymore when she got there, but it was evident I had been recently. I assured her I was fully covered and not concerned with her repairs not being taken care of. She wasn’t screaming at me, but she was most definitely lacking any sympathy, for herself. I suppose that’s reasonable, though not how I’d react. That was a fairly expensive car, I’m sure she had fully uninsured driver coverage too. And it wasn’t even broken enough to prevent driving it until it was repaired.
I sound bitter, but it’s not so much that I expected any sympathy for me. It’s more that what I didn’t expect was derision and condescension. I’ve been hit before, and a lot worse than that. As long as the person isn’t an asshole, and is genuinely sorry, I try not to make it worse. I know what it’s like to be on both sides of that, and there’s no reason to be a dick to someone who’s already just turned their own day to shit. I mean, come on, everyone screws up. If you’re a prick when you’re the one they screwed… ok, better rephrase that. If you’re the one who’s inconvenienced by their mistake, you should only expect the same treatment when it’s you who screws the pooch.
Well, as I said, we signed the lease at 2. Then we rushed to the house, emptied the car into it, and left for the airport. Dustin agreed, via text, to come help them unload the truck when they got home. Oh, and I found out that the next day, they discovered the other half of the side by side is a mother and son. She smokes, and he sells. Suddenly Williamsport is looking better. Dustin even told Ted about a great gay night club that we’re going to hang out at, when I come to visit in May. And I won’t be alone, about 10 other people are talking about coming, friends of Steph and Cheri (and somewhere between acquaintances and friends of mine). So yes, a little optimism is returning.
Landing soon. When I moved my flight to Tuesday night, I called my boss and said I’d be in late tomorrow morning. I can’t wait to sleep in my own bed. Of course, it would be better if it wasn’t empty.
Night, Night, my darlings,
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