(originallly posted on my AFF blog)
It’s one of those questions you don’t really think about. It’s one of those concepts that’s not easily definable, like “What is life?” It is what it is. Sure you can give technical definitions of sex and life, biological imperatives and all the crap. But those definitions fall short of describing so unfathomable, so astounding, so chaotic an state of existence.
So why do I ask the question? What are you, a lawyer? A biographer? I ask these questions because it is in my nature to do so. It’s the way my brain is wired.
Alright, back to the question. What was it again? Oh yeah, what is sex? I guess it’s better to work from perspective. What is sex to me? Joy, bliss, expression of both and more, in a moment. You guys (using the midwestern uni-sexual version) know how I feel about moments. Moments are glimpses into what it is to be a human. At least that’s what I generally mean when I talk about moments.
Sex is, or can be, about a moment of connection on the most basic, and simultaneously the most complex, level of human existence. I mean, think about this. Whatever the connections, whatever the relationship, sex is (or at least should be) about people momentarily existing to bring pleasure to themselves and others. How fucking cool is that?! How often, in our modern world, do we take time out of our daily lives to do that, besides when we’re getting our freak on that is?
That’s why I can’t understand how some people treat sex so casually. Now hang on, don’t get your panties in a bunch. I’m not dismissing casual sex. I’m not talking about the relationship between the participants. If you think about it, taking time out of your busy life to give please to a stranger… that’s an amazing concept too.
No, what I mean is that too many people pay no attention to the ground-breaking concept that is sex. They think of it as a no more integral, or thrilling, part of life, than just eating a bowl of ice cream. Sweet it may be, but it deserves more reverence than that. And commitment to giving that joy, and taking it for yourself.
Both are important. And yes, I can be as guilty as others. I don’t know that I’ve ever been guilty of ignoring my responsibilities to give pleasure, but I have failed to take my own pleasure before. Too many times. And it is a failure. It’s a slap in the face of something as remarkable as sex. To pay due homage to this fan-fucking-tastic experience, it is our obligation to give and receive pleasure. Giving all, and taking none is as great a sin as taking all and giving none. It’s spitting in sex’s face (a nice big loogie too).
Sex should be cataclysmic. It’s le petite morte for fucks sake! Do you think the french were trying to be ironic? No, my fellow jackasses. They knew it was as important a part of who we are as life and death.
And so, I will no longer be so thoughtless and ungrateful to an important and prominent part of human existence. I will give it the care and attention it deserves. I will find my joy, and take as much as I give. I will find my something astonishing and superlative. And I will never again look back with regret. I won’t depend on the person sharing my bed (or backseat of car, kitchen table, whatever strikes your fancy) to create my bliss. I will make it happen. Because if I don’t, I have only myself to blame.
Love and kisses on all your pink parts 
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