SCENE
(Dean and Ellie are relaxing on a blanket in a big and busy park. It’s a bright sunny day. He is sitting cross legged, reading a book he’s holding above his lap. He’s trying to shade it with his body. She is lying on her stomach near him, holding herself slightly up on her elbows. She is also reading a book, which is lying on the blanket in front of her.)
(Dean’s head comes up a little quickly and then he turns to look at her)
Dean
Hey, wasn’t last night your big fancy date with Joe?
Ellie
(distractedly)
Yeah.
Dean
So?
Ellie
(still reading)
So what?
(He leans over and bumps her. She turns, slightly irked, and looks at him)
Ellie
What?
Dean
How did it go, pain in my ass?
Ellie
It was fine.
(she turns back to her book)
(He pauses and looks flabbergasted)
Dean
Fine? He’s been planning this for weeks. Come on, spill!
(looks ironically distasteful)
Did he try to dance? I told him not to, but he just wouldn’t listen. I considered telling him your theory about how some men are Gene Kelly but some are Don Knotts. But I didn’t think his ego could take it.
Ellie
(without looking up)
No, he didn’t try to dance.
He stares at her in confusion for a few minutes.
Ellie
You know, if you were Superman, I’d be dead right now.
Dean
(shocked and confused)
What?
Ellie
Well, since it already feels like you’re burrowing holes in the back of my head. If you were from Krypton, I’m thinking you could use my head as a bowling ball by now.
(His eyes widen and he shoves her harder so that she rolls on to her side)
Dean
You little shit! You broke up with him and you didn’t tell me?!
Ellie
(throws her head back and closes her eyes)
Ok, yes, I broke up with him. And I would’ve told you eventually.
Dean
Eventually? Um, hello, best friend. What the fuck?
Ellie
(glares at him)
I wasn’t in the mood for this conversation.
Dean
(glares back)
What happened?
Ellie
(sighs)
It was nice. We had dinner, we went to the museum. He really did plan a nice night. But then, we’re back at my place, and we’d just had the most amazing sex...
Dean
(interrupts making a grossed out face)
Ehh, skip ahead.
Ellie
(smiles)
You know, you’re lousy for a girls ego. Imagine a man, who’s seen every inch of me, and finds the idea of my getting busy icky.
Dean
(grins seductively)
Babe, the idea of you getting busy just stirs very fond memories. It’s just that I don’t want to start seeing some other guy in those flashbacks. Thank you.
(She rolls onto her back and laughs. He’s smiling tenderly. After she settles, she takes a deep breath)
Ellie
So we’re lying there, all comfy and satiated.
(She looks up at him with a mischievous grin. He glares and she giggles. Then she lies back and looks up at the sky)
Ellie
And then he asked me to move in with him.
Dean
(startled)
Oh. Wow. I mean yeah, it’s a little fast. You’ve only been seeing each other a couple of months but...
(closes his eyes)
... is that a bad thing?
Ellie
No, except that’s not what he wanted to ask me.
Dean
What do you mean?
Ellie
He said, let’s move in together. But it was all over his face. What he was really thinking is, “She’ll never say yes to marriage right now, but if I start here I can probably have her at the altar before a year’s up.”
Dean
(stern)
Oh come on. Even if that were true, is that so bad? I know it’s kind of fast but, this isn’t the first time this has happened. Why is it, whenever any guy starts talking marriage you run like your ass is on fire?
Ellie
(defensive)
I do not.
Dean
Let’s see, there was Tom, Sam, Xander, Jason. I was amazed you let him get to the point of producing an actual ring, but as soon as he whipped it out, you were gone.
Ellie
(irritated)
Why are you so eager to shove me down the aisle?
Dean
Don’t do that. You know you mean more to me than any other person on this planet. I just want you to be happy. I’m not saying Toe Jam was going to make you happy, but...
Ellie
(laughs)
Oh that helps. Thanks.
Dean
(smiles)
Sorry, I guess that wasn’t the best nick name to come up with for him. And I know I wasn’t his biggest fan...
Ellie
(she looks up at him wryly)
Not his biggest fan? The first time you met him, you actually asked me if he had been dropped on his head repeatedly as a child!
Dean
(sheepish)
Yeah, that might’ve been a little harsh.
Ellie
And while we’re on the subject, you called Jason a glorified Amway rep.
Dean
(humble)
Ok, I guess I’m not always supportive. Is that part of the problem?
Ellie
(quietly)
What do you mean?
Dean
Sweetie, you know I want you to be happy right? I mean, you know I don’t want you to be alone.
Ellie
I’m not alone, I have friends, my family, and I have you.
Dean
But you could have more. You should have more.
Ellie
I know I could have more, but I’m not sure I want more. I like my life. And I think that’s why I don’t deal well when they start talking about settling down and doing the whole domesticity thing. I have to wonder; do I want this bad enough?
Dean
I don’t understand.
Ellie
I don’t know. Maybe... maybe that’s what I always thought of when, I mean, when things with a guy got serious, and he was thinking and therefore talking about, the future. Because let’s face it, you guys may call us the romantic saps but the instant men get that thought in their heads everything becomes about kids, and mortgages... retirement funds, saving for college, and should we buy more life insurance or how does Consumer Reports rate this SUV, I mean it’s a wonder any woman is ever surprised by a ring in her champagne glass... anyway, where was I going with this?
Dean
What you think of when a guy starts scouting little league teams?
(rolls eyes)
Ellie
Right, anyway, I think about you.
Dean
You think about me?
Ellie
Uh-huh.
Dean
Like what I-uh-don’t...
(shaking head)
... do you mean like what would I say about him? Or if I’d like him, or approve, or something?
Ellie
No, no, no, no, no. See that’s what happens when I first meet someone, so by the time it’s serious I’ve covered that.
Dean
You don’t mean like comparing him... to me I mean?
Ellie
No. That’s usually how I decide on a 2nd date, compare him to you and other guys I’ve dated, and that are in my life.
Dean
Ok, either I’m lost or you’re into some kinky stuff that I’m not sure I want to know about.
Ellie
(slaps his arm)
No, schmuck, I mean our relationship. How things would change between us.
Dean
Why would they change?
Ellie
Because they do. I mean, ok, not the big things. Not we stop loving each other, or not see each other for years. It’s little things, like remember that time, after spring break, we came back from the beach house my folks had rented, and I wore a bikini to the pool, and I didn’t realize I had gotten a really deep tan that day, but I also had your handprints on my thighs?
Dean
(laughing)
You wouldn’t go out in anything but pants for a month, and it was damn hot that summer. And you were always sweating your ass off.
Ellie
Yes, see exactly my point. That is a great story; you’ve told tons of people that story. But if I married someone, I might not be comfortable with you telling him that story, or anyone within his hearing. Little things change. So when a guy’s getting serious... How much do I want to be with him, see I’ve already been here; I’ve made this evaluation a couple times in my life. When I think about things changing, and not just you, other things too; work, I couldn’t just volunteer to fly to Vegas and baby-sit an investor. And my girlfriends; girls night out would be very different. Even family dinners won’t be quite the same. I think about all that, but mostly I think about how we would change, and my stomach turns, and I have to think, “Is how I feel about this guy worth it? Does the way he makes me feel inside counter the way all those thoughts make me feel?”
(grins)
So far, no guy’s been quite worth the nausea.
(He grins at her and she props herself up on her elbows)
Ellie
Enough with this deep shit. Let’s get some ice cream.
Dean
Hell yes, that’s a plan.
(He gets up and then helps her to stand. They keep talking as there are gathering their things)
Dean
Damn, now you’ve got that in my head about my life too. You know you can’t give me deep thoughts unless we’re wasted. Cause then I just forget about them.
Ellie
(a little mocking)
Aww, sorry sweetie.
(she grins and gives him quick peck on the cheek)
I’ve probably ruined you for other women too.
(She winks at him and turns to go. She doesn’t see his eyes darken as he stands there for a moment)
Dean
(quietly to himself)
You did that; years ago.
© CleverTitania.com 2009
